slowdown and dance with.me.uk

Clearly a flawed poll of some kind

MegaStar - Carmen bum gong joy: "Carmen bum gong joy

Phil Kemp

Carmen get it
Oh lumme - another of those piteous awards for the bestest lady-bottoms in the biz has been lozzed out into the celebrity ether again.

Prising the mind-fuggingly numb-headed sainted-buns trophy off increasingly-pass? Kylie is ex-Baywatch swimsuit-filler turned Starsky and Hutch mopsy, Carmen Electra.

Or as Ananova excitedly put it: 'Curvy Carmen Electra has come 'top of the bots' to pinch the best bottom crown from Kylie Minogue.'

G-g-g-g-g-geddit!!!???

This time - as every time, it seems - the spurious bum-gongs are being dished out by FHM mag, with celebrated tush-jiggler Beyonce only coming a paltry third.

Final results after a Peter Snow-style recount, however, saw Electra squeeze into pole position by the narrowest of margins.

Or as a certain leading internet news service put it: 'The 32-year-old beat off Kylie...by just 1%.'

Now there's an image."

Carmen is all tits. Kylie's bottom is proportioned and perfectly hand sized. Carmen is leaning toward the Beyonce spectrum. Beyonce is simply bottom heavy with thunder thighhs. She's gorgeous and a sweetie pie, but as she gets older that bottom and those thighs will go into hifding for sure. --Ed.